8/31/19
If I were asked to improve upon Elon Musk’s GolfBot1 “GB1” push-button A.I. machine that hits golf balls toward a target of its own choosing, I’d just get rid of the lint trap…
In order to explain, here’s how GB1 works:
GB1’s brains run two programs at all times:
Program 1 “P1” is called “The Chooser”
Program 2 “P2” is called “The Choices”
P1 is coded to figure out what is in the best interest of the push-button user getting to watch a golf ball fly as closely as possible to GB1’s intended target. GB1 chooses its targets based on statistics-based strategies learned from watching millions of hours of professional golf on YouTube.
P2, using sensors and cameras, presents P1 with a stream of raw data from GB1’s environment on the golf course. Unlike P1’s code, P2’s is not bound to an agenda, it simply presents every bit of data P1 could conceivably use to make a decision.
When the trash can-sized metallic GB1 unit rolls up to a golf shot, P2 goes to work feeding P1 with a constant flow of data. P1 compares P2’s data to historical decisions/outcomes and computes its best guess for how to proceed.
P1’s decision is transmitted through wires winding throughout the innards of GB1 on its way to the “Ready to Launch” LED display screen above the red “Push to Launch” button.
Usually, the signal is transmitted without interruption, the push-button user is notified via a green LED light that GB1 has decided, aimed itself, and is ready for glorious, shiny red push-button launch.
The first unfixable problem with GB1 is as the wires near the LED display, there is a microscopic gap through which the signal must pass from the wires to the LED screen. The second, highly fixable problem is GB1’s lint trap. The lint trap is great for keeping the inside of the machine clean, but its fatal flaw is that it requires constant maintenance by the push-button user before every golf shot.
In rare circumstances, if enough lint builds up within GB1’s lint trap, microscopic dust particles make their way into the microscopic gap and interrupt the signal.
This momentary delay is detected by P2’s heat sensors causing a new P1 window to open to assess the new swarm of data being sent. The existence of this new self-aware data loop overloads P2’s decision-making abilities and GB1’s failsafe system sends a new signal to kill the previous one and restart from scratch. In the millionth of a second it takes to send the kill signal and prompt the push-button user to clean the lint trap, the green “Ready to Launch” LED light illuminates as ok’ed by the first signal, and the "Push to Launch" button is pressed. By the time GB1 begins moving its mechanical arms, the kill signal has caught up and the machine produces a golf swing based on contradictory agendas. The result is a rather confused looking arrhythmic motion. The golf shot in no way represents GB1’s capabilities and the push-button user figures there must be an issue with the machine.
Tragically, the push-button user wastes hours tinkering with assumed faulty servos or loose bolts on GB1’s mechanical swinging arm when all he needed to do was clean the lint trap.
